20-Oct-2008

HOOKED ON GIVING

Dr. Mar Aprem of the ancient Chaldean Orthodox Church of the East in India tells a funny story about when a member of the church won a lottery worth 100,000 rupees. His wife went to the bishop and told him that she was afraid to tell this glad news to her husband because he had a heart problem and any sudden excitement could cause a heart attack.

The bishop offered to break the news gently to her husband. He visited the house and asked the man, "Wouldn't it be a good thing if you won 1,000 rupees in the lottery?" The man replied that he still would have to work to support his family.

"What about 10,000 rupees?" the bishop asked. The man still showed no excitement, so the bishop carefully raised the amount to 50,000 and finally to 100,000 rupees."

If I got 100,000 rupees, I would give half of it to you, your Excellency," the man replied.The bishop had a heart attack, and the man called an ambulance.

We can get excited about winning and getting. But have you learned how fun it is to give -- and not only money? Engineering and machinery genius R. G. LeTourneau (1888 - 1969) discovered the great joy that can come of generosity. Besides establishing a private school (today's LeTourneau University), that remarkable man reportedly gave 90 percent of his income to worthwhile causes, while living on the remaining 10 percent. He became hooked on giving!

And like I said, money is not the only commodity that is fun to give. We can give time, we can give our expertise, we can give our love or simply give a smile. What does that cost? The point is, none of us can ever run out of something worthwhile to give.Giving is fun. And addictive.

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THE WAY FAMILIES WIN

Winston Churchill said, "We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills." And humorist Bob Orben added, "That sounds a lot like our family vacations." And for some people it sounds a lot like everyday life.

The problem is not whether we who live in families will have squabbles, arguments and fights. My worry is more whether those conflicts will end anytime soon. I don't want home life to become the Hundred Years' War - going on and on with no end in sight while the casualties mount. Conflicts need to have an ending so that the family can get about its real business.

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded yes."Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes."So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you are out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again, the boy nodded yes."Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."

I believe a family can be like that sports team. A successful family wins as a team. But if its members are intent upon winning their own individual battles with one another, the team loses.A winning solution is to work out the differences and, when it's over, let it be over. Then they can get back in the game as a team.